Twilight: Monochrome
by jemmaraldi826
Summary: Lorraine White thought she had seen the last of the creatures that had murdered her mate. She thought she had killed them all. Then she met the Cullens. And their close friend, Jacob Black. Black and White, no two could be more different...
1. Preface

_Preface_

"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." –Bertrand Russell

Is fearing the person you love the same as fearing love? Probably not, because I was dead long before I found love.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Are you sure you're ready?" he whispered. I could barely make out his piercing red eyes in the darkness of our underground shelter. I nodded slightly, hardly convincing, but I had decided that this was what I wanted. He reached up one cool, pale hand and brushed my hair behind my ear. "Where do you want it?" I shakily reached up and started unbuttoning the black button-down I had worn specifically for this occasion. One button, two, three… He drew in a sharp breath and I heard him swallow hard, his eyes like garnets fixated on the skin I was slowly unveiling. I pulled the material aside, barely keeping my left breast covered. I slid my hand across his arm, grabbing his hand and pulling it up to rest on my warm skin. I shivered when his ice-cold fingers brushed against my flesh. "Here," I whispered, "close to my heart." He smiled. "You have always been a poetic one haven't you?" His smile faded and his eyes turned dark. "There… it will be more painful…"

I grasped his hand tighter and struggled to make out his beautiful features in the shadows. "It'll be painful no matter what, right?" I thought I saw him nod. "Then it doesn't matter to me. I'll have this mark forever and I want it to have significance."

"Will it not be significant enough that it is my mark?" his voice pleaded with me, and I faltered, my heart almost breaking with the weight of the sadness I could sense in his words. I mentally shook myself and shot him the dirtiest look I could muster. "No fair manipulating me, wait until I can be on a more even field with you. You know what I want."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Fair enough, darling. If you are ready then, I will start now."

I smiled at the slight Irish lilt in his voice and his tendency to speak in formal English. He never had quite picked up on stylistic changes in language. I suppose that's likely to happen when you're over three-hundred years old. No one would be able to tell from looking at his thick, wavy black hair and smooth, perfect skin that he was older than twenty-two. Vampires don't have to worry about wrinkles or hair loss. Yet another of the many unfair advantages they have over humans. Humans like me. I shivered in anticipation as I realized that he wouldn't have so many advantages over me soon.

I nodded resolutely. "I've been ready since the moment I met you."

He leaned toward me, and I grasped the sheets I was sitting on firmly in my hands. I wanted to remember everything about this moment. The single candle burning on the glass table in the center of the room. The soft cotton in between my fingers. The plush mattress underneath me. And the scent of _him. _I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Would he still smell the same to me in three days? I felt his frozen lips on my collarbone and I gasped. He let out a puff of laughter. "I will miss this the most," he whispered. "The way I can tell without a doubt that I have affected you. There will be no tell-tale pounding in my ears when this is all over. But a small price to pay for having you with me forever, my darling."

I opened my mouth to answer, but was suddenly distracted by the feel of his teeth piercing through my skin. He pulled back and I felt his rough tongue lick the wound, but only for a moment before all sensations were taken away except for one: _pain. _I screamed, curling up on the mattress, writhing, as what felt like molten lava coursed through my veins, spreading from my chest. I had known it would hurt, but this was beyond imagination.

He sat next to me and brushed my hair back from my face. "I love you so much, my Lorri… I'm so sorry…" he whispered as my screams continued on through the night.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Day 1**

**Day2**

**Day3**

I couldn't remember when the screaming had stopped, but I did remember slowly becoming more aware of my surroundings. He had stayed with me the entire time, trying to make me as comfortable as possible, knowing that there was nothing he could do. The fire had receded for the most part; all that was left was a slightly more bearable burning in my throat. I heard him take a step closer to the bed. Even with my eyes closed I could tell exactly where he was; I could smell him, hear him, and in some inexplicable way I could _feel_ him.

I opened my eyes and wondered where all the light had come from. I could clearly make out his features, his strong chin, almond-shaped eyes, gleaming teeth, and perfect pale skin. "How are you, my darling?" he asked cautiously, and I couldn't understand why.

I couldn't believe that I'd gone so long without truly hearing his voice. It was now as if I could hear an underlying melody in every word he said. It made me smile, then giggle. I paused, surprised by the musical tinkling that came out of my mouth, then laughed out loud. He was still watching me worriedly, and I realized he had asked me a question. I sat up with more speed than I was used to and stared up at him. "I thought the pain was supposed to go away once I woke up."

He looked confused for a moment, then a look of realization crossed his face. I was mesmerized. "What you are feeling right now is the thirst. I should have thought of that and had food ready for you, I apologize. I will return shortly."

He started to leave. My hand shot out and grabbed his, and he winced. "Careful, my darling, your strength is much greater than mine now, you would not want to hurt me, would you?"

I immediately retracted my hand. I didn't want to hurt him. I never wanted him to feel pain. I stared at him again. He was waiting for something. For me. To say something. "I never knew just how beautiful you really are," I whispered, and was again surprised by the sound coming out of my own mouth. It wasn't raspy like you'd expect a whisper to be. It was beautiful. I was beautiful. I was… complete. I smiled at him.

He leaned toward me and gently kissed me on the forehead. "My darling, you must eat. I will return soon, please wait for me." And he was gone.

I stood, much faster than I had intended to. Was this how everything in my new life would be? Surprise after surprise until I could figure everything out? I had time. I had all the time in the world. And then what? Would I get bored of everything? How do you find something to do with yourself for all eternity? Then I remembered who I would be spending eternity with, and I smiled. No, life would never be boring.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I spent my time alone attempting to get used to my new body. Everything took so much less _effort _than it had before. If I was ever going to pass as a human again, I would have to learn how to control my own strength. The first thing was walking. I practiced taking what felt like painfully slow and small steps across the hideout (not an easy task considering the small proportions of the room) until I could hear his light footfalls headed my way. With the sound came an unbelievable scent unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Without thinking, I ran as fast as I could up the stone steps to the wood door at the top of the entrance, and raced out into the sunlight.

There he was, his skin more dazzling than I had ever seen it, but I couldn't focus on anything except for the woman. She was a cute little thing, her short blonde hair framing her almond-shaped eyes and turned-up nose. She stood slightly behind him with dull eyes and limp posture. That was about all I managed to observe before I had leapt at her and torn out her throat. I drank deeply from the pool of blood that collected in the hollow below her chin. The taste of it danced on my tongue, filled my entire body with a feeling of power. When I had had my fill I stood, looked back at him over my shoulder, and began to run.

I laughed as the wind whipped past my face. I ran through trees, across highways, I leapt over streams and rivers. There was too much energy in me; I didn't know what to do with it all. I ran through towns, through fields, and along a coastline. Just when I began to wonder if I would ever get tired, a sudden flame rose up in my throat. I froze. I needed to feed. NOW. I could smell blood, delicious, warm, life-giving blood, to the north of me. I turned that direction and ran until I came upon a small beach cottage. There were two young children playing in the tide pools nearby, and I caught the scent of more people coming from the inside of the cottage. But the kids were closer, they would be easier. Two little boys, maybe five and eight. Black hair, dark skin and big brown eyes that widened at the treasures they discovered in the pools of water caught in the rocky crevices.

The older one saw me first. His eyes widened to the size of teacups, then he grinned ear-to-ear and waved largely over his head. The younger one looked up with no expression; he merely stared at me. The elder began to run toward me, stumbling and tripping over the uneven ground. I stepped toward him, my arms open and inviting. He came straight into my embrace, throwing his arms around my neck an instant before I constricted my arms and crushed his spine. Blood dripped out of his slackened mouth and I lapped it up, savoring the explosion of power and life in my mouth. Then I buried my teeth in his little neck and drank deeply. He ran dry all too soon and my throat still burned. I stood, not bothering to wipe the sticky red liquid from my mouth and chin as I stared at the younger boy. He stared back. His face remained stoic, unfazed. I cocked my head, puzzled as to why he hadn't started screaming for his parents. I didn't have long to consider it though before my insistent thirst urged me forward, toward relief. I stepped quickly to where the child sat, his expressionless eyes gazing up at me. No, _through _me. It was as if he was blind, but there was no telltale film over his eyes. His demeanor perplexed me, so I held my desire back for a little while.

"Why are you not afraid?" I whispered.

The child didn't respond, merely continued to pierce me with those deep brown eyes. I knelt down in front of him. "Tell me your name."

He finally blinked, the only movement he'd made since I'd first seen him. "Manuel."

His voice was clear and he spoke without any sign of a speech impediment typical of a child his age. "And tell me, Manuel," I continued to speak softly, "why it is that you haven't called for your parents?"

He was silent for a long while. My throat ached for relief and I licked my lips when I noticed his neck pulsing with fresh blood…

"Because you're not going to kill me."

I started, completely taken aback. "And would you tell me why not?" This boy was interesting, for sure. His eyes suddenly cleared and he was looking straight into my eyes. I felt like I was falling into those dark brown pools…

Little pools of water with tiny creatures trapped inside them…

Pools of blood at a woman's throat…

"Because you don't want to kill him. You don't want to behave recklessly and cause the leaders of our world to exterminate you. You don't need to kill him now. You aren't even thirsty."

I fell even deeper into those words, into that familiar voice, and I didn't even try to struggle against it. I didn't want to. He was right. Everything he said was right. The burning, aching thirst was gone. I didn't need to kill the little boy, and I didn't want to.

I fell and fell until I hit the bottom, and jolted awake. I was lying on a forest floor, with _him _standing over me. "Lorrie, my darling, are you alright? I- I'm so sorry I had to project and then control you like that, but I had no choice. I won't lose you to anyone, and I didn't know how else to stop you."

I hardly heard a word he said, because all I could focus on was that the intense thirst had returned. Without thinking, I lunged for his throat. "How dare you!" I hissed.

He rolled just out of my reach, and I slid a bit on the leaf-covered ground. I crouched down then leapt again, this time aiming lower, attempting to knock him off balance. Again, he was just out of my reach. He had interfered with my hunting. With _my _prey. I let out a sound which could only be described as a roar and swiped at his head, intending to take it right off his shoulders.

"Lorrie! Lorrie, darling, think about what you're doing!" he nearly screamed at me, both hands held up in a defensive stance. I froze. What _was _I doing? Oh, God. I was a monster. I was attacking the one person I never wanted to see get hurt. I stood there, absolutely mortified at the beast I had become. "I- I'm…" I broke off, knowing that no apology could rectify what I'd just done. I fell to my knees.

He was there in an instant, his arms around me, and I tensed, waiting for him to do to me exactly what I had been about to do to him. I couldn't be trusted, it would be better if he just destroyed me now. He tilted my chin upward and looked into my eyes. This was it. My life snuffed out as soon as it had truly started.

Then his lips were on mine, fierce and insistent. He kissed me like he'd never kissed me before, and I found that I could kiss him in ways I'd never kissed him before. When I put my arms around him and pulled him closer, his body yielded to my touch instead of staying as unmoving as a stone pillar. He was much warmer than a stone pillar too. I opened my mouth to him and let his tongue sweep along the ridge of my teeth. I pressed against him with my hips, and he groaned into my mouth, making my stomach tighten and my hips roll forward almost of their own accord.

I caught his soft, full lower lip between my teeth and let out a moan myself, he tasted so damn _good._ I pushed against him until he was lying on the ground and I was straddling his hips. I smiled, looking down at him. I couldn't believe I'd been missing this for so long… I leaned forward to capture his lips in mine again, and my hips rocked forward. My eyes widened as I felt a large pressure in between my legs. _That _was enjoyable. I looked down at him; it seemed he had liked that too. I tried it again, and I didn't even try to hold back the sound of pure pleasure escaping from my mouth. I rocked back and forth on top of him, feeling the pressure between my legs building, intensifying, I was so close to that rush, so close to the release…

Suddenly I was flying, and not in the way I'd wanted to be. I was literally airborne, being flung backwards through the trees. I landed on my feet and tried to figure out what had just happened. Then I heard him scream.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

No.

This wasn't happening.

This… what _was _this?

I ran back in the direction his screams were coming from. I wrinkled my nose as I caught a whiff of something… dirty. Like someone's house when they have too many pets and don't clean up after them. Then I saw it. Well, them. There were three of them, and they were huge. Bears? No, wolves. Long-nosed, snarling dogs. The screams had subsided, and I noticed a pile of… I refused to think about what that was behind them. I couldn't. They had… no, it wasn't true. He had escaped from them; all I had to do was find him.

The monster closest to me pulled his lip over his top teeth and growled at me. I copied the action, crouching down closer to the ground. These creatures… they wouldn't survive the day. The wolf jumped toward me, and I flattened myself against the ground. When it was directly over me, I reached my arms around its back and squeezed with all my strength; there was a yelp, then silence.

The other two learned from the first's mistake and took their time making their first move. They circled around me together slowly, searching for any sign of a misstep. They began to make wary, careful, testing movements, snapping and swiping with their massive paws. I danced away from each one, still waiting for a true attack. I didn't have to wait long. One leapt at me from behind catching my shoulder in it massive jaws. I winced, then didn't hesitate to throw myself to the left, landing on my side on top of the beast. With my free arm, I swung my fist down on top of its skull, and I heard the bones shatter. Without even a yelp this time, it went limp. I removed myself from its mouth. Only one left, smaller than the other two, looking terrified. It whipped around and tried to run, escaping into the trees. I gave chase, following the putrid scent it left behind. I noticed the smell grow fainter, and I wondered if I had lost the trail. But no, it was still there, merely fainter. It gradually became stronger again, and I picked up my pace. I could hear voices up ahead, smell food cooking mixed with the disgusting scent I was already following. The trees thinned, then cleared, and I walked out into a Native American village.

I was overwhelmed by the stench of the creature; it was everywhere. I looked around, desperately trying to locate the monster, but my sense of smell was confused by the intensity of the odor permeating from the entire village.

An older woman walked out of a log cabin about thirty yards from where I was standing, a large quilt in her hands. She glanced in my direction, then froze. She pointed at me, her hand shaking, and let out a bloodcurdling scream that lasted less than two seconds before I silenced her with a quick snap of the neck. I left her lying on the ground and crept slowly deeper into the village.

It wasn't long before the other villagers came running to find what the woman had been screaming about. I smiled to myself. They'd all be dead soon, and I'd be free to discover the monster that had kil- that had made my mate disappear. I made a lunge for the one nearest me, an adolescent boy with shoulder-length hair and a serious acne problem. I couldn't help but think that I was doing him a service as I crushed his rib cage and the organs behind it. At least he wouldn't have to worry about his skin anymore. I took revenge for my mate again and again, determined not to stop until I saw him standing in front of me, alive and smiling at me with those perfect lips and teeth… Then something stopped me in my tracks. There were nine men and older teens standing in front of me, all bare-chested, each and every one of them trembling with rage. These must be the warriors of the tribe. But… the smell… they reeked of the beast from the forest. Something was horribly wrong here. The one that appeared to be the youngest, maybe seventeen, was shaking the worst, his entire body vibrating, and if my eyesight hadn't been so sharp, his edges would have been blurred. What was going on here? Then, without warning, he… exploded. There was no other way to explain it, he was human, then a monstrous wolf creature exploded out of his skin. The same wolf from the forest. This was it. He was mine. I crouched low to the ground and let out as fearsome of a growl as I was capable. Suddenly there were eight more wolves stepping in between me and the beast, teeth bared and ears flat against their skulls. So that was how it was to be. Fine. Merely a momentary deterrent, that _thing _would just have to wait.

It was becoming easier to kill them, the more practice and experience I got the quicker they were finished off. One by one I left them as lifeless piles of fur, a crushed skull, snapped neck, crushed windpipe. I was careful to kill all of them without shedding a single drop of blood. The last thing I needed was a distraction. When there was only one dog left I straightened to my full height and met its eyes. It hesitated, taking a step back. It seemed to shake itself off then lunged at me. I easily dodged, sidestepping out of its reach. With one deft blow, I brought my arm down on its back, breaking its spine. It crumpled in a heap and let out a gut-wrenching howl that would have broken any living heart.

I took my time, being dramatic about this final death. I wanted the vermin to die in absolute terror of me and my kind. I slowly drew one long, diamond-hard fingernail across its cheek (being careful to avoid the snapping teeth of course) and, holding its jaws shut with one hand, licked the blood from its face. I nearly gagged. So much for not wanting to be distracted by the blood, it might as well be mud pouring out of the fresh wound. But I still wanted my dramatic ending. So, grimacing, I sank my teeth into the wolf's neck and swallowed mouthful after mouthful of the most revolting stuff I'd ever tasted in my life. I only stopped after I heard its heart slosh to a stop.

I stood, slightly dizzy, and took a few careful steps forward. My nose was filled with the stench of the monster, and I felt like someone had placed a veil over my eyes that wouldn't clear no matter how many times I blinked. My movements were sluggish as well. _Very interesting, _I thought to myself.


End file.
